One of the reasons I decided to start this website/blog is to be able to release the thoughts from my head out in to the world. When an important person in your life happens to be a Registered Sex Offender, there are a lot of things that run though your mind that you can’t speak about to the majority of the people you know. In fact, there’s often no one you can talk to about registry related issues. It’s pretty isolating.
The general public is overwhelmingly unforgiving of people who committed sex offenses. It doesn’t matter what the crime or the offense was, they’re all rolled up in one big blanket. A blanket that most people are fine with throwing away, some would like to douse with gasoline and set ablaze, others would like to stomp on repeatedly, and most would just kick a couple times then shove it in to a closet, only pulling it out again when they have to.
There are plenty of other blankets in this world that are clean, free of tears, softer, and easier… so, not very many people are willing waste time on the one that’s dirty, stained, torn in places, and a little bit itchy. Not many people look at those blankets and think, “You know, this blanket needs some help… but it isn’t garbage, it’s has a lot of great qualities, it just needs some work put in to it.”
My blanket started out as a beautiful work of art, but it wasn’t always the best blanket. A times it was wonderfully warm and comfortable, but in one particularly harsh season it developed a tear and caused great harm to someone.
After that, a lot of people hated it so they kicked it, threw it in a closet, and forgot about it. It was a fairly soiled, the edges were frayed, the pattern on the fabric had faded over time, and it had a few holes left that needed to be taken care of. Years later someone pulled it out and tossed it in to a pile with other not-so-perfect blankets.
While a lot of people don’t want anything to do with the pile of old blankets and looked at them as if they were beyond repair, some could still see the beauty in them. Others even enjoyed them. And, slowly, but surely, people pulled blankets out of the pile to use for certain things. Some people took the time to wash one here and there, to mend a tear, or to sew up a rip in the seam. Those blankets found new life, a purpose, a reason to continue existing, Others, not so fortunate, were left in the pile, tossed in the trash, or cut up and used for rags.
My blanket had so much life left in it. It was washed, stains were scrubbed away here and there, it was mended little by little. The edges were still a little bit tattered, and there were places where it was very obviously sewn with all different colors of thread. It definitely needed some love and attention. But none of those things affected how soft, how warm, how comfortable, or how precious that blanket is. I would choose that blanket, my blanket, my favorite blanket, over any other blanket in the world.
In our society we are quick to discard things that aren’t perfect. We toss away things that are flawed, not caring about what happens to them or the impact it has on others, the world, our futures… We just replace them with something shiny and new. We rarely take the time to examine something and see if it just needs a screw tightened or take the time to repair anything. If does something we think, or know, is bad, we discard it. We don’t try to help it back to it’s former glory or rehabilitate it. We don’t bother looking for the beauty in things that have been distasteful in the past. We don’t give them a second chance.
We throw away things, and people, for flaws and mistakes.
All of us have made poor decisions. All of us have likely done at least one bad thing with intention.
People, just like blankets, are worth helping, they’re worth giving a second chance.
I spend a lot of time silently hoping that, when people discover who I am, when they discover the one truly terrible thing that he did, they will sit and listen, they will give him a chance to show them who he really is, that they will see the man I love, and that they will give him a chance.
Because he is the warmest, softest, most beautiful blanket.